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In need of Inspiration

Arrest your expectations!

I first started watching Arrested Development 2 years after its 3rd and final series had wrapped up. I'd read in passing about what a great show it was, glimpsed at occasional snippets calling it "The greatest sitcom of all time" in various magazines and dismissed the claims as 'hyperbolic flavor of the month', since many magazines (Who shall remain nameless) tend to crassly over-exaggerate for the sake of it. (Empire). Still, eventually my curiosity got the better of me and I hastily picked up a copy of the first series and....was underwhelmed.

I went in not only with high expectations and with a certain degree of anxiety, after all, I'd purchased this on a whim. Obviously there were things about it I liked straight away (Gob!), but I went into it trying too hard to enjoy it and came out of the first series wondering what all the fuss was about. So, I watched the series again, somewhat indifferent this time and low and behold I loved it. I'd become familiar with the series' style, tone and quirky characterisation on first viewing and subconsciously adjusted to it. By my second viewing I became immersed in it, now familiar with the characters and their relationships, by the time I'd finished season one again I was ready for series 2.

When I'd finished series 2 it was already my favourite show of all time.

I get far too involved when it comes to writing synopsis so I'd advise you just Google the show and read the Wiki page. Still, it's a sitcom with fabulous writing and an even better cast that includes Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, Jessica Walter, Michael Cera and Jefferey Tambor. Combine this with an array of brilliant cameos, some ingenious satire, insider gags and a format which rewards those paying attention and you've got yourself one great show. It's just a shame nobody noticed until it was too late.

Arrested Development never caught on with the greater masses, getting lost in the shuffle  and eventually getting cancelled, ending its run in 2006, god knows, those increasingly smug Seth Macfarlane projects aren't gonna watch themselves.

Hey Lois, remember the time this show was funny?

 Sour grapes aside, it was always a crying shame that the show ended so soon. Still the show developed a strong cult following (Every show has one of them these days, but that's a rant for another day) and fans continued to champion it every chance they got (Myself included) and campaigned for the increasingly unlikely forth series.

So nobody was as happy as I was when the show finally did get a renewal. After years of deliberation, rumblings of a movie and a few fan documentaries, Netflix renewed the series (Originally for 10 episodes, later extended to 15) for its much deserved forth season and I was excited.....for a while.

That same trepidation that I'd experienced the first time around was back again, only this time it was perhaps worse. Alarm bells began ringing when Mitch Hurwitz and Jason Bateman confirmed that due to scheduling conflicts amongst the cast each episode would focus on an individual character rather than concentrating on the family as a unit.(Due to the last-minute shooting and scheduling conflicts of the cast) Arrested Development is a show that adheres to that time tested comedy trope, the dysfunctional family. Ironically, the cast were far removed from their dysfunctional, offbeat counterparts that they operated a lot like a real family on set, which allowed their performances (Specifically timing and improvisation) to shine through on screen. To move them away from each other on screen would be (As Gob often so astutely puts it) a huge mistake. The Bluth family are the heart of Arrested Development and so much of the comedy emanates from the characters interactions with each other and some characters, enjoyable as they are, wouldn't be able to carry an entire episode. (I mean was anybody really clamouring for a Maebe episode?).

Then of course there was the worry that the show had ended at just the right time, despite the unfortunate circumstances. Would a renewal beat the old, great jokes into the ground, would we the audience become tired of those characters we knew and loved?

Well, of the fifteen new episodes I've watched 8 of them and here are my thoughts so far.

Hmmmm.

Aesthetically, the show is as familiar, yet fresh as it always was, even the ad breaks are still in tact. (Netflix has no advertisements). In fact the shows aesthetics are so similar, it felt in some ways like it had never left. The cast (Aside from a strangely bird-like Michael Cera) don't look like they've aged all that much and all of them gamely fit back into their beloved characters and it's great to see them back. Hell, I even enjoyed seeing/hearing Ron Howard return. All the old favourite bit-part players are back too (Carl Weathers!) as well as some new faces, some more welcome then others. (Get to that later). So far so good right?!

Without a doubt the shows biggest strength is also its biggest weakness and that's the writing. Firstly shows now run between 30 to 35 minutes, that's an extra ten to fifteen minutes per episode meaning there's a lot of fat and some of the episodes really suffer. That's not to say that these extra minutes are joyless, however the pacing suffers and despite the extra time, it seems the writers are cramming in way too much plot and exposition.

Then of course there's the new format, giving nearly every character his or her own episode. The hook of course is that each characters story is running parallel to the others and there are points where their adventures overlap and characters bump into each other. When this happens, the exchanges are as gold as ever, it's just a shame they don't happen enough.


Oh and those new faces I was talking about earlier, it seems Arrested Development has its share of celebrity fans too as there are a TON of new famous faces who are obviously having a ball with the material. With that said, not all of them fit in with the show (Seth Rogen and Kristen Wiig give it their best efforts but stick out like sore thumbs) and the parade of cameos can be a bit much at times. With that said the always game Terry Crews and Ron Howard (Yes the same) are more than welcome additions.

Kristen Wiig and Seth Rogen as a younger Lucille and George Sr.

What's important though is that AD is back and that's something even the most cynical, hard to please fan should be happy about. (After all, they're likely the ones who campaigned for its return). As I said, the writing may be the new series' biggest weakness, but it is also its greatest strength.The non-linear series narrative (though over complicated at times) and character crossovers have been so well crafted that even the biggest critics will have to admire the boldness of the new format and the care that has gone into scripting it. These over-scripted sequences may have sacrificed some of the inspired  improvisations between the cast but it lends itself to the self-referential gags and Easter eggs that make re watching the original series such a pleasure.

The early episodes of the season 4 are perhaps the hardest to get through, but stick with it and you'll start to appreciate how clever the writing actually is, as gags start to gain context and the story begins to fit together. Like a complicated puzzle, you'll get off to an slow start but dammit, it's  rewarding as it comes together.

Of course, I'm only halfway through the season and I can't give a 100% accurate verdict on this series but I can leave you with some advice. Just sit back and enjoy it. No, it's not the Arrested Development you're used to, not entirely, but then on its first run, was it like the rest of those sitcoms you knew and loved? No. But we loved it for what it was, not for what it wasn't. More importantly, if this series does well (And I see no reason why it won't), there's no way this will be the end for the Bluth family, I mean every season ends on a cliffhanger right? And whose to say that if we do get the long awaited movie, or indeed a fifth season that we'll see a return to the more traditional series with full commitment by the cast.

Show your support for Arrested Development and Netflix (The unsung hero of this story) by watching this new series and watch it neutrally. Don't bog yourself down with the viewpoints of others (Except mine) or a set of expectations, judge it on its own merits, as a new and ambitious entry into the Arrested Development canon and enjoy.

The new job

It's been far too long since I've done this, far too long since I engaged in this narcissitic, yet theraputic exercise. But, absence makes the heart grow fonder and at long last I have returned to my blog. I've always had something of a love/hate relationship with writing. As enjoyable as it is to look back at your finished product, it can be a long and arduous task plagued with frustration and irreversible retina damage. There is often a great deal of time spent loooking at a blank screen or furiously typing out an opening sentance before your brain decides what you wrote was total shit and thus you must start ALL OVER AGAIN.

 

Every entry in this blog has started like this 

Case in point In the ten minutes I've spent on this entry already, I have deliberated on the subject matter and length of this entry. Truth be told I would love to write a long, detailed account of my time at University, but alas, I am far too lazy to do that now and a little distracted what with being in work and all. Oh my new job? Well, after years of being knee deep in retail-induced apathy and spending the better part of my post-grad year in work experience placements for radio, TV and even editorial writing, I got my break. I'll cover in more detail the difficulty that I believe most students get to when they leave, but with all sincerity I can say it was one of the most difficult periods of my life. No amount of ironic speeches from your lecturers or first-hand accounts can prepare you for that inevitable culture shock one faces when they are torn from the comforts of uni life.

 I like to think I was as prepared as anyone could be for someone moving 200 miles away from somewhere that had been my home for 3 years; arranging a new living arrangement with my relatives upon return, a transfer from one Starbucks to another (Or hell to another depending on how you choose to look at it) and bracing myself for the possibility that I might not end up doing what I wanted career wise. Without going into too much detail, I don't think I could have prepared myself for the hours of doubt and occasional self-pity. However, I kept my options open and got stuck into many different areas of the media and although the conditions weren't always great (Working for a magazine in an old building with no heating) and some of the road-blocks were unavoidable (My lack of qualifications for journalism and creative writing),I was able to take some positive learning experiences away from each one. And then, in May of last year I finally caught a break and got a job in one of Bristol's most respected Post-Production houses. Films@59.

Time was running out by this point, I had been living with my aunt and uncle 9 months at this point and was still in a job I hated, still not in a position to move out and seriously considering residing myself to at least 6 months more of retail and work placements. On something of a whim decided to stop by Films with a CV and a covering letter, this time insisting to talk to someone in person. My little bit of persistance paid off and after resigning from Starbucks for a trial contract, I was hired. I haven't looked back. Although this entry may seem to be nothing more than textual masturbation, this is one of the few times I have been able to sit back and say that I am truly proud of what I was able to achieve. I really believe that I worked hard for this job and although I am not yet in what I call a 'dream job', I am on route to getting there and not many people get to say that. Did hard-work alone get me to where I am today? no. Did luck play a big part in it, absolutely. But I am a firm believer that you make your own luck and to be truly successful you need a combination of both these things and perhaps most importantly, perseverance. I'll never forget working in Starbucks and having my boss say to me almost gleefully 'There's nothing out there but retail', part of me always resented him for that, but in hindsight I think it lit a fire in me not to be complacent and inspired me to follow through on my ambitions. Remember if you want something, work hard at it and never give up! (Except when pursuing women, do yourself a favour and nip it in the bud)

Well, that all got a bit X-Factor Audition didn't it.... I would like to point out that I mean no disrespect anybody who works in retail, I just FUCKING HATE IT. , it's just not for me.

An update, an explanation and some stupidity.

HI ALL!

So yeah, there was (and is) to be a 3 part University essay coming to the blog but sadly Christmas, work and a ton of work experience have gotten in the way of that. I am rather overrun at present so I cannot give the University work as much time as I would like right now.

I am however writing for Sickchirpse.com where I am posting various film reviews and I am also doing an internship with Inspiredtimes.com so my writing "career" is still coming along.

On the subject of sickchirpse, I recently submitted an article on my drunken stupidity. Unfortunately, I was too self deprecating and not "cool" enough (Bullshit, just read it)and it was a little too personal. Still, never fear the post is here in all of its.....um glory.

Drunken misadventures (Volume 1)



Hello, my name is Craig and I have a drinking problem. Not in the traditional sense mind you (I drink perhaps once a week and never do so alone), but in the sense that something rather bad happens to me when I drink. If you know me personally, or have read my posts then you may have caught on that I am a rather cynical person with a dry sense of humour. If you’ve met me in person or, God forbid, seen me at work, you will also know my voice rarely strays outside of ‘monotonous’.

Perhaps it’s because my day job fills me with such resentment and contempt, or that I have a substantial void in my life since leaving University, but when I do indulge in an alcoholic soaked night out I tend to just...let it all hang out. Spending and drinking just a bit too much and throwing caution to the wind. You see kids, I am a victim of the Post-University syndrome. Upon finishing I found myself separated from all of my friends and thrust rather unpleasantly into the real world of 9 to 5 mediocrity. My days are now a combination of retail hell, unpaid work experience and Facebook loitering (for which there should be a legal punishment). These sacrifices will no doubt pay off in the long run, but right now the void left in my social life is such that when a rare social outing is on offer, I go a bit crazy.

Now, unlike many who drink I never start fights, throw up violently, or make the most of the inflated self esteem and you know, try and meet a woman. Instead I become overwhelmed by a surge of juvenile idiocy. Think of it as an example of Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde, if Jekyll were played by Alan Rickman and Hyde by David Brent. The transformation looks something like this.


Sauber and taking life far too seriously



1 drink later and loathed by all


Yeah, I know Tom Cruise references are very 2005 and that comparing yourself to Tom Cruise may seem egotistical (but we are the same height), but you get the point.

So it really hit me this weekend when I had some University friends down just how big this problem is. We engaged in some heavy drinking, reminiscing about better times and enjoying each other’s company. This civil behaviour was not to last though. After a particularly pitiful attempt to attract some female attention (turns out “Give me a cigarette and I’ll sort you out” does not make for a good chat up line), and winding up other bouncers by saying nonsensical things, we all headed home where upon further shenanigans ensued.

I don’t know what it is about traffic cones and roadwork signs that makes stealing them such an exciting endeavour for students, I guess it’s just some weird unwritten universal law. Anyways, on our way home we saw some road signs and traffic cones (on the pavement, not the road) and of course I took it upon myself to steal a cone declaring “IT’S JUST LIKE UNI AGAIN WOOOO". Thankfully my friends were there to put a stop to these hi-jinks. They were not there however to stop me doing my best Chuck Norris impression and performing a flying kick at a nearby roadwork sign. The awesome power of Chuck Norris (another outdated reference. I’m on fire!) was clearly with me this night as my foot went through the sign and I got stuck in the process.

I’m 24 years old.

And single. Ladies.

So yeah, while most people who have been out of drinking will tell tales of outrageous adventures and wild one night stands, I can tell tales about nights where I attempted to teach road signs a thing or two. And failed. This silly behaviour is sort of a problem, but hell, solitary traffic cones are really the only victims outside of my dignity, so I guess it could be worse. I could have danced. There's no excuse in the world that can justify that believe me.

Missing University

If you've been a regular reader of this here blog you will be aware that I have recently finished University, spending 3 years amongst the great unwashed, engaging in pretentious, nonsensical debates and consuming outrageous amounts of food and drink (That hasn't really stopped).



This will make for a fine starters


Since leaving I have had some difficulty adjusting to adult life and have reminisced on more than one occasion to anyone who will listen about how great my life was prior to leaving university, not that my life is bad or anything, it's just not the same. You see university is like that ex girlfriend you never quite got over, you'll bore people to death with stories that can only possibly be of interest to you and try to recapture the experience, often failing and looking slightly sad in the process.(You're never too old for Touchcup IMO) You see, like that relationship with said ex girlfriend, university ended for a reason and instead of living in the past, it is time to move onward and upwards to bigger and better things.



Smile through the pain


But the truth is, since leaving I have wanted to write something about my time at Portsmouth University, a little tribute to the experiences I had and the friend's I made. Aside from my outright laziness the reason said entry has taken so long to emerge is because I feel it would be difficult to the entire 3 years justice. So, with that said I have come up with a solution. Over the next couple of weeks I will be writing an entry for each individual year. I'm going to try and avoid crossing over into bad Myspace blog territory, however, sentimentality will rear its ugly head on more then one occasion so be warned. Expect a new entry by the end of the week.

Weekend food diary

Since leaving university I have been spending a lot of time in the gym trying to improve my level of fitness, to some degree I've been successful, losing most of my stomach fat and developing something mildly resembling the ever elusive six pack. To be fair a great deal of this success can be attributed to my improved diet since moving in with my aunt and uncle, gone are the "healthy" university meals such as Tuna Pasta marinaded in mayonaise and Chilli Con Carne with a side of 28p Garlic Bread and, oh yes, a generous side of mayonaise. No, since leaving Uni I've been relying on my Aunt and Uncle's culinary skills and I'm perhaps the healthiest I've ever been....That was until this weekend where I relapsed somewhat.

Me and 3 of my university friends decided to reunite for, what was a delightful weekend in the country, for whatever reason we all decided to gorge ourselves silly, the amount of food and drink consumed was such that I decided to document it here. What follows is a food diary that begins Friday evening and ends Sunday evening.

Friday

7 slices of take away pizza.
1 Vodka Martini (It was fucking disgusting)
5 Martini and Lemonade's (250ml)

Saturday

1 Full English Breakfast consisting of 4 slices of bacon, 2 eggs, 2 hash browns, 2 sausages, 2 slices of toast and some beans.
2 and a half croisants with butter and jam.
3 chocolate muffins
2 snowball cocktails (Tall Glass)
3 Martini and Lemonade's (250 ml)
1 Crabbie's Beer
2 large glasses of wed wine
A shared 'Asian' Deli Board
1 Slice of crusty bread
Steak and chips (With larged cooked mushroom on the side)
1 Sticky Toffee Pudding with ginger ice cream
1 chocolate pudding with ice cream (Half eaten....I was still hungry)
1 Vodka and Lemonade (Tall Glass)
1 small glass of Port (50 ml)

Sunday (This is where things got really silly)

5+ Scotch Pancakes w/ butter and syrup
1 slice of bread with homemade Jam
1 Cup of Coffee
1 Bag of Fruit Pastilles
Handfuls of Galaxy Minstrels
Handfuls of M & M's
Steak and Potato Wedges (With mayo and ketchup)
Nachos (Covered in cheese and salsa dip)
Chocolate Brownie and Cornish Ice Cream
1 glass of Lemonade (Tall Glass)
1 Roast Dinner (Which I'm trying eat as I type this)

So yes, this could be my last entry ever as I am liable to do a Mr. Creosote at any moment now. Goodbye kids, it's been fun. Eat healthy!

Defining a classic: An analysis of Pixar's Up

Up (2009)

It seems the term classic is banded around far too hastily these days. Disney has deemed the entirety of its animated feature film catalogue as ‘classic’ despite entries that range from the mediocre (Mulan) to the downright disastrous (The Black Cauldron). ‘Classic’ status is given to movies that have just a few lines of dialogue and/or memorable moments that highlight an otherwise unremarkable feature (Scarface) . Even movies which are devoid of any remarkable quality whatsoever can be deemed ‘classic’, just ask Ed Wood. It seems the term has become more of a marketing tool, rather than a unanimous recognition of achievement. Of course, to then proclaim Pixar’s magnificent animation Up as a classic may seem hypocritical and an example of individual hyperbole, how is then that Up deserves to the controversial title of Classic?

The film’s opening sequences appear to situate the film in familiar territory, Pixar’s fondness for sending up old public service broadcasts and the exploration of childhood innocence and desire for adventure, as well as that familiar movie staple, budding romance. We are introduced to our protagonist Carl Fredrickson,a young boy who dreams of being the, somewhat dubious in his integrity, explorer Charles Muntz, on his way home one day he stumbles into an abandoned house where he meets kindred spirit Ellie, who too wants to travel to South America. What follows is a short but touching montage showing the children’s blossoming romance transition into elderly contentment, a life marked by more than one tragedy, not least that by the time of Ellie’s death the couple were never able to fulfil one of their lifelong dreams and travel. Carl, now elderly and living alone, unable to function in a modern world that is rapidly moving away from him, up and moves away to South America, taking his entire house with him, with the help of a thousand helium balloons.

As with all Pixar films there is plenty to enjoy visually, with the film boasting some of the richest animation and fully realized worlds seen in the genre. The narrative is particularly quirky even for a Pixar outing. Aside from the unique storybook nature of the main narrative, there are plenty of quirky twists throughout, with South America realised like somewhere from a Roald Dahl book and an army of dogs who communicate through collar translators. For as playfully imaginative and visually rich as the picture is, it is in the film’s characterization that the film truly shines. Writing and directing the film, Pete Dochter and Bob Peterson in true Pixar fashion have created some of the most memorable and likeable characters seen in any film in recent memory, with supporting players such as naive pooch Dug and overweight boy scout Russell rising above the one-note comic relief they could easily have become and into real characters an audience can emotionally invest in. Then of course there is the film’s central figure and protagonist, Carl Fredrickson (Voiced perfectly by Ed Asner).

Pixar has a track record of unlikely heroes and Carl is no exception modelled after the late Spencer Tracy, Carl is old and cantankerous, he refers to his house by the name of his deceased wife and cannot walk without aid. Yet he is endearing and a character we care about the moment we see him and of all of Pixar’s work he is perhaps the truest 3 dimensional character they have ever put forth. Aside from the nature of Carl’s quest, which itself is an attempt to fulfil the dream he shared with his wife, we understand Carl’s inner guilt, sense of loss and obsessions through delicate dialogue exchanges and subtle nuances. A key scene within the film in which Carl is able to find some inner solace and realise the consequences of his obsessions is achieved not through hack dialogue, but by body language and a simple gesture, in a scene that is both touching and true to the character, as is his eventual transformation to loving patriarch and unlikely action hero. Carl’s journey is indeed a sentimental one and more than one scene will tug at the toughest of heart strings.

Themes of loss, abandonment and obsession are all present within the film. It is all three that drive Carl to journey to South America and his ability to overcome his obsession that sets him apart from the villainous and warped Charles Muntz (Voiced by veteran villain actor Christopher Plummer). Like Carl, Charles too is obsessive, after losing public affection many years ago; Charles seeks a rare flightless bird which he believes will prove his innocence. His obsession has lead him to a murderous sense of entitlement, having spent the last 70 years in living in South Africa in an airship filled with fossils and relics from the past. Charles personifies the perils of obsession and loss, afflictions Carl must overcome to avoid a similar fate, something he does and in doing so reunites one family and founds a new one with Dug and Russell. With such dark subject matter there is always the risk of overshooting the mark, thankfully this is not the case here. Whereas films such as Finding Nemo and Monsters Inc laid on the sentiment just a little too heavy, Up ‘s moments of sentiment and inclusion of more adult themes and subject matter are perfectly judged and a tear of sadness can quickly be turned into tears of joy and laughter without causing awkward bumps in the flow of the narrative. Ultimately the film’s message seems to be that happiness is not constrained by age and more often than not, the most rewarding happiness can be found not in some distant land but in the bonds of friendship and family.

For all the impressive characterization and as moving as Up is, it is also tremendously exciting and very funny, with a reoccurring gag involving dog translators and the interaction between Carl and Russell being particularly worthy of mention. Up is also full of inventive set pieces and whether it involves Carl’s house taking flight for the first time or the climactic battle on Muntz’s flying fortress, Up provides excitement in spades, with the set pieces bridged with a fine balance of hilarity and poignancy.

For years it seems Pixar have been on the cusp of making the perfect animated film, some would argue that they already did and indeed, films such as Wall-E and the Toy Story trilogy are perhaps close to attaining that status. Up, however, floats high above the rest in terms of narrative innovation and most notably its 3 dimensional and believable characterization, which sets a benchmark for any animation that will follow it, a film that will prove to be as timeless as its message and in the not so distant future, fully deserving the title of classic.

Different sort of entry.

Ok. So this is an attempt at a more professional and formal (And therefore pretentious) review. Posted here in all of its glory for your enjoyment. Be nice yeah?


Paul (2011)

To boldly go where many have tried and failed before.

The track record of successful British comedy acts transitioning overseas has been less than stellar, either appeasing the masses by resting on their laurels and riding out their shelf life or fading into B-movie obscurity. It is a pleasant surprise then that the latest offering from comedy double act Nick Frost and Simon Pegg have made something that is fresh and yet does not stray too far from what makes them so likeable in the first place.

In roles that surely did not require too much background research, Pegg and Frost play, Clive and Graeme, a pair of self professed comic book geeks who, one their tour of paranormal hotspots, encounter lost extra-terrestrial Paul (Seth Rogen) who enlists them to help him return home. All the while evading a squad of special agents hot on their trail, this may all sound vaguely familiar.

Rather than rely solely on the charms of its leads, the film boasts a variety of supporting characters, not least of all is the film titular character Paul, of whom the film’s ability to sink or swim truly rests upon. On first impressions (not least the trailer) Paul may seem like a crude and repellent character but he quickly charms and ends up being a welcome addition to the troupe adding a new dynamic to the comedy styling’s of the film’s leads. Other supporting players include the ever charming Kristen Wiig, whose transformation from bible thumper to teenage delinquent/potential love interest is perfectly acceptable and Jason Bateman’s seemingly psychotic special agent in an amusing against type performance. Less successful are the double act of Jo Trugilo and Bill Hader as a couple of hapless agents who provide some uninspired slapstick comedy.

The film plays out as an affectionate pastiche of many of cinemas most beloved and quotable science fiction films and the film boasts an onslaught of references and cameos which fans of the Pegg/Frost formula will no doubt relish. Notable by his absence is director Edgar Wright, whose unique editing and directorial style contributed greatly to the success and subsequent cult following of both Shaun of The Dead and Hot Fuzz. Stepping into these well worn shoes is experienced comedy director Greg Mottola who brings his own unique, deft approach of directing, less frenetic then Wright’s, an approach that actually benefits the film.

The film is not devoid of criticisms however, the script is a little overstretched at times, with a subplot involving Paul and a young girl who once saved his life (now an elderly woman played by Blythe Danner) not given the time it needs to allow audiences emotional investment and a reliance on foul language (From one of the films big cameos no less) quickly becomes overkill. The transition from independent British films to a big studio production has also seen some of the harder edged comedy synonymous with Pegg and Frost’s earlier work become softened and more accessible to the masses, for instance, an amusing debate regarding creationism Vs evolution is only given brief screen time.

However, this a film that will please both established and new audiences that for all its faults and occasional vulgarities manages to still be both amusing and ultimately rather charming. A bold step in the right direction.

4/5

Making it up as I go along

I enjoyed vent spleening so much yesterday that I thought I'd come online and start writing, as I write this I have no idea where this is going. This should be fun. For me.

I suppose at some point I shall write about University and how it affected me, recount all the amusing and interesting anecdotes I have, and yes there are many. It is perhaps too epic a task to do tonight though and would actually require me to do attempt some skillful writing and not rely on familiar cheap jokes. Maybe.

The Wire is my new favorite TV show. There is little to fault with this show, it is perhaps the best television show I have ever watched, masterfully scripted and skillfully acted, it's gritty, gripping, shocking and at times genuinely moving. The show tackles the war on crime, specifically drug related crime, in the Baltimore area. What sets it apart from other shows is that the narrative is told from both the viewpoint of the police and those living in the projects. Like most shows that get broadcast on HBO, one of the key themes is no such thing as plain good and evil, black and white, there are merely shades of grey. It's important to start from the beginning and stick through the first 2 episodes as the show has multiple narrative arcs right from the get go, but stick with it and you'll soon find there's nothing better. Oh and Stringer Bell is one of the coolest characters ever to grace a television set.

I'm sure this is littered with spelling and grammar errors and I would like to have given the show a better write up but right now I don't care, I'm off to bed. I intend to lighten up and fall asleep on a cheerful note. I'm reading some book, it's told from a first person perspective and, what sets it apart is that it's narrative is told entirely through diary entires. About some girl who's gone into hiding with her family to avoid persecution and perhaps a fate worse then death.

I think her name is Anne.

Sweet dreams.

A lot can happen in a year.

So I'm back, after a year’s absence I've decided to update this damned thing. Lots to tell? Maybe. Interested? Unlikely. In all seriousness the past year has been an interesting one, and personally one of the best years of my life, I can only hope that whatever awaits me around the corner will be as exciting and rewarding as the experience I had in my final year at University.




Although writing a blog entry on me would be both easy and damn enjoyable for someone as self-absorbed as yours truly, this is not why I decided to return to the blog.

I go to the gym; it's one of my hobbies. Most gyms screen music channels so to encourage and motivate those using the facilities to train that extra bit more, sounds stupid, it is, but it works. Not my gym though, no, we get BBC News 24. I don't follow the news, personally it depresses me and, being a depressive, cynical so and so by nature I try not to encourage these thought processes. Still, over the last 3 months I've been paying slightly more attention.

Tabloids such as News of the World have been accused of, among other shenanigans hacking into the phones of various individuals, including victims of the 7/7 bombings, relatives of British soldiers fighting overseas and Katie Price. Granted, I don't know all the facts and I'm too lazy to take my research beyond the much maligned Wikipedia and what I see on the news everyday but there's something about the situation that really bothers me.

I love how fickle the public can be, it would perhaps be unfair to blame the British public specifically but it is they who I have been most exposed to. Whether it's the News of the World, The Daily Star or, my personal favourite, The Sun, it seems that the public will lap up any story fed to them, believe it and spread it willingly as gospel, no matter how dubious or hurtful it might be. More often than not, these stories are best received when they are at the expense of a celebrity.

First world celebrity culture is another one of my main gripes. There are celebrities out there who actually have talent, who have achieved the level of celebrity by setting themselves apart from everybody else and showcasing their talents. Then there are those who exist solely in the tabloid solar system, people who achieve fame and fortune almost exclusively through tabloid journalism and magazines aimed at a predominant female demographic. Even sadder is that some of these celebrities were once talented individuals who went out and achieved something but have since fallen from grace.

It saddens me greatly that in 2011, publications such as The Sun and The Daily Star are able to not only exist but thrive within our culture, the blame however cannot rest at the feet of the editors and 'journalists' behind these publications but instead with the British public who happily spend money out of their own pockets to not only keep the papers alive but those working for them rich and successful. How then, does this tie into the recent phone hacking scandal.

As I mentioned before, tabloids such as The Sun thrive off spiteful journalism, exploitation and heckling those who are on the verge of self-destructing with a sadistic voyeurism and glee. It has proved a recipe for success. However, when the means to these horrifying ends are exposed as underhanded, the world goes up in arms and labels the papers reprehensible.




"Say What?!"


Say what indeed. Still, this didn't really strike a nerve until 2 weeks ago by the unfortunate news that Amy Winehouse had died at the age of 27. I got some flak for this at the time, but it is an opinion I still believe has some truth to it and I'm going to share it with you all again now. Amy Winehouse is not a role model, should not be looked up to by future generations and should not be heralded as a national treasure.

Young Amy was admittedly a talented (very) young lady who wrote and performed some great music, she was certainly unique and I was, in fact a fan. Of her music. Personal demons plagued her throughout her career and she was, no doubt a troubled young woman, her personal life, drugs and alcohol problems span out of control so fast that it was amazing she stayed alive as long as she did. All this by the way, was played out for the world to see and brought to you in colour by the British press.




For years this went on, story after story of a woman whose life was spinning out of control, a woman who desperately needed help and support. She received none; the public of course, lapped up stories like this and apparently enjoyed watching someone’s life tailspin before their eyes. So when young Amy finally reaches ground zero, the public mourn, the same public who sat by and watched laughed at her expense and sat around doing nothing suddenly are in mourning, and what do the papers say.



Well I don't have an image for this, but let's just say there was an abrupt about face, urging the public to sympathise with her family and remember what great talent she had, both factors which were seldom discussed when she was actually alive. The sad truth is Amy's star fell long ago into that aforementioned tabloid solar system where a star's life is played out in a bricolage of scandal, shame and disgrace. Was she talented? Very much so. Should she be remembered as an icon or national treasure? Certainly not.

I'm sure there will be those who do not agree with me and think I am being rather callous, that is of course fine but the fact remains, she is dead and we all sat by and watched and what's more, it will happen again.

I told you the news brings out the depressive cynic in me.

We few, we happy few!

I must say that writing in this blog is never as simple as I hope it to be when I start out, take for example my post from 2 weeks ago, originally intended to be a quick and juvenile look at Friday the 13th and it ends up becoming a fucking obituary....which nobody will read.

Still! Today's update will be short and sweet!

Maybe.

As those of you who read this (I.E. Me) know I am at University at the moment and after 2 long years of spending government money and being resented by tax payers & working folk nationwide, I am finally reaching the end of my journey.

You see, I've been in education now for nearly 20 years and although it's been a bumpy ride, it's been a ride I've for the most part enjoyed and I will be sad to finally get off. In doing so I will take my final step out of adolescence and into adulthood, and by step i mean told politely to get off and never return.

I always intended my stint at University to be my rights of passage to adulthood, had I made the trip at 18 with the rest of my hoody wearing, fringe growing, wrist slitting brethren from college I feel the experience would have been wasted. Truth be told, I had no idea what I wanted to do until I was 19 and had already been through college and had settled on a career path, alas a life of managing T.K. Maxx was not for me.

Contrary to what many people may think, I do not fit into that student stereotype of no good, money wasting layabout. No, University has been exactly what I set it out to be. When I started my course 2 years ago I had already built up some life experience, I'd experienced love for the first time, I'd learnt first hand the perils of over indulging in alcohol , I'd spent the entirety of my adolescence working and I was steadily leaving my teenage angst's behind. In other words, I was maturing.

Of course this was both a blessing and a curse, by the time I entered University stealing traffic cones, dressing up ironically & generally acting like a tit was something I had little time for and for around 80% of the student population the bloom was not yet off the rose. Still, this is not to say I didn't join in now and then and just because I said I was maturing, this doesn't mean I had matured.

The first year brought about it's fair share of hangovers, heartbreak & unwelcome stomach fat and a summer holiday of even more unwelcome home truths. The biggest of all being that I was no longer a child and although I relished my independence, I couldn't just revert back to my old ways when the bank was empty.

Money is something we all take for granted and when most people have it, they
can't spend it fast enough. Sure you could survive on a 30 pounds a month shopping budget, but when you've got over 1000 pounds in the bank why spend £1 on a pizza when you can spend 5 and boy oh boy won't you look sophisticated drinking this whisky, when everyone else will be getting the same effect from drinking beer. Point being, I've had more then enough first hand experience and observations of money wasting to know that I cannot afford to be so careless with it in the future. Still, I think swigging out of a bottle of Famous Grouse at a house party is pretty sexy, my many nights of sleeping alone will attest to that.

And then came the second year, the year when the partying takes a backseat (For the most part) to hard work, headaches and the inevitable disintegration of household relations.


They say that you don't know somebody until you live with them and this is something every second year student will eventually attest to. The year may start off with more ass kissing then a night at the Academy Awards, but after the honeymoon period is over (About 2 weeks) those 'friends forever' will quickly become the target of venomous tirades once your milk starts being 'borrowed' and those dishes start to pile up and just remember, it's never your fault, not at all, not even a little bit.

My biggest gripe with second year came mostly from observing my fellow students. You see, Film Studies is not exactly a subject that demands to be taken seriously. After all, don't we 'just sit around and watch films all day'. Well, no. Not at all, but that is the general consencus. Despite the hard work of the majority, there will alwyas be those who give the degree and on a grander scale, students, a bad name.


When I was growing up I always looked at University as the pinnacle of education, a home for the academic elite. It seems somewhere down the line standards slipped and any Wayne & Waynetta can now earn themselves a degree. This is a hard pill to swallow for me, not because I'm so great at what I do, but because I worked hard to get here and because I actually give a shit about the subject. An even harder one to swallow is that most students who earn a degree rarely go on to a career in that field, any teacher bitter at their own career (I.E. All of them) will keenly divulge that information to you.




The future's bright for the Portsmouth 2011 Film Studies graduates

But I knew all this going in and I went all the same. When all is said and done I'll have a degree and I'll find out first hand whether or not I can make it in that dog eat dog world of...um film critique. But at the risk of sounding like University has been miserable let me say that the good has far outweighed the bad. I've had experiences here that I'll remember for my entire life. Despite some hiccups along the way University has been what I always wanted it to be a few final years of memories that I can treasure, learn from and drunkenly lament when I'm old and bitter (more so).My last big learning curve when it comes to life experience. It has been and continues to be my rights of passage to adulthood and when its over I'll finally ready to enter the world of 9 to 5 or 9 to 10:30 should I end up on the doll.

At the risk of sentimentality....na fuck it, this is sentimental, it's been a hell of a ride and the best thing is, it's not over yet, with any luck this year will turn out to be the best of all and so, should any of my friends at uni be reading this let me say to you & my long suffering liver, Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more!

Hollmmmmeeesss!

I just watched Sherlock Holmes for the second time and guess what, I loved it. However, reviewing would require some semblence of effort and I'm too tired. I will say that although the film benefits from a terrific screenplay and some inspired action sequences, it is the two leads who steal the show, Law & Downey Jr have fantastic chemistry and watching those 2 on screen is joyous. The CGI was a bit naff in places and the speed at which the narrative plays out may put off some people, but aside from that, it's a great film and a perfectly acceptable way to spend 2 hours of your life.

Your star rating is ****1/4 (Just to make it all that more pretentious)

Friday the 13th.

No, no film review this time, just a quick rant (that was the original intention) about my miserable day

Aside from a series of bad slasher films, one associates Friday the 13th with bad luck, a day where an individual will be inexplicably cursed with misfortune and perhaps even disaster. Usually I'd dismiss this as superstitious rubbish, however for once the negativity is perhaps justified as I have had one of the worst days in quite some time.

For me personally, the day started off on a dull note as Weston was once again a victim of the stereotypical English Summer, showers of rain, in between fleeting bursts of sunshine. Wonderful. As the day progressed, I was the recipient of bad news (Nothing too serious and I'm against airing personal problems in public so I will not disclose the details.) and minor inconveniences that culminated with me being LATE FOR WORK. Unacceptable. Then, I started coming down with a cold and as any grown man will know, this calls for round the clock attention from your significant other and since she's not around I have to suffer....alone. Unacceptable.

And to top it all off, there will be no airing of Friday the 13th this evening.

'Joking' aside the day became truly tragic as the wrestling world suffered yet another loss.



Former WWE wrestler Lance/Garrisson Cade (Real name Lance McNaught) died today, apparently of heart failure.

I'd be lying if I said I was a fan of Lance, although he was a decent worker and had an entertaining feud with The Hardyz with tag team partner Trevor Murdoch I never found his ring work or personality particularly compelling and despite WWE's best efforts neither did the majority of their audience. However, despite this WWE continued to push him on television (Wrestling carny for building a star and featuring him heavily on their programming), unfortunately young Lance's career was derailed when he was found intoxicated and seizuring aboard a plane and was subsequently let go. As lead announcer and former head of talent relations JR put it 'he made a major league mistake whilst utilizing bad judgement'. Indeed.

You see, wrestling has always been riddled with all kinds of substance abuse, whether it be steroids, alcohol or recreational drug use. Although steroids have no doubt always been prominent in the sport and I am not educated in the area enough to say for certain,I'd go out on a lim and say that substance abuse really became a problem in the eighties and early nineties when wrestling was at it's peak and the wrestlers themselves lived the so called rock and roll lifestyle.Aside from recreational drug abuse, the physical nature of the business leads a lot of wrestlers to take prescription medication (Usually painkillers of some sort) which often leads to addiction, at the time of writing it seems that it was an addiction of this nature that cost young Lance Cade his life.


Over the years the major league promotions (Primarily WWE) made various attempts to put a stop to this kind of behaviour and in 2005 after the tragic death of Eddie Guerrero WWE instituted a Wellness policy to try and deter tragedies like this from happening again, wrestlers noticeably decreased in size and wrestlers who showed up in 'no condition to perform' were sent home on suspensions. However, after the media coverage died down and the heartache of those involved began to subside it went back to business as usual. All this would change just 2 years later.

In the summer of 2007 beloved wrestler Chris Benoit snapped and killed his wife, son and later himself. As well as being severely brain damaged from 20 + years of physicality and careless shots to the head, Benoit was also in possession of large quantities of steroids. The event has forever left a black mark on the sport and the immediate PR nightmare that followed forced WWE to try and clean up it's act, reinforcing its inconsistent wellness policy in an attempt to control any substance abuse by those under employment. As well as the wellness policy, WWE also reached out to any ex employees and offered to pay for them to enter rehab, more than likley in an attempt to repair its public image.

Although it was arguably the severe brain damage Benoit was suffering from that caused him to commit such an unspeakable act, the media circus that followed his death pointed the finger solely at substance abuse, specifically steroids. As a result WWE apparently no longer turns a blind eye and those who violate it are punished. Although the policy usually includes a 3 strikes and you're out rule, Cade was released almost immediately afterwards, no doubt because of the public nature of his offense and despite entering rehab, it seems that Cade never was able to overcome his addictions.

Having followed wrestling now for ten years, I have seen many wrestlers die young, some of whom I have been great fans of and it's always hard to take. Whether a wrestler is working the WWE road schedule or small venues for dirt money, those bumps and bruises take their toll and it's no wonder that some individuals are unable to avoid these traps.

It would be unfair to place the blame on WWE, they are cleaning up their act and they did offer a chance at rehabilitation once they released him, but as someone said to me today, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't force them to drink.

Lance was only 29 years old and is survived by his wife, two daughters and stepson.

'Unleash the Kraken!'

One of these days i'll write a review for a film I do actually like, perhaps even love. I actually find it easier and a lot less stressful to write a review for film's I dislike, perhaps this is a trend amongst film critics or perhaps it's because I am so frequently filled with hate and bitterness towards the world. Maybe.

Blockbusters are usually the easiest films to criticise, often vehicles for special effects and spectacular set pieces at the expense of a coherent narrative & scripting. The recent focus on 3D and the influx of films being produced specifically for the format has only exacerbated the problem. Still. I approached Clash of the Titans with an open mind, I mean, who doesn't like Greek mythology? Tales of good vs evil in fantastical ancient lands filled with beautiful women, gods and monsters and the stories often have a moral at there centre. Perfect material for a Hollywood blockbuster then. Obviously, I wasn't expecting a five star classic, but I was eagerly anticipating some throwaway fun, surely it could at least deliver that much.

Well. No.


First of all, a quick synopsis.

In Ancient Greece, a baby boy is found abandoned at sea and is taken in by a fisherman and his family and named Perseus. 12 years on and the people of Greece are revolting against the gods, as faith in the gods diminishes, so to does the power the gods posses. Enter Hades, who proposes a solution, however unbeknown st to the rest of the gods he has his own sinister agenda, as his plan will see Zeus fall and leave the world in chaos. When Hades actions cause the death of his foster family, Perseus sets out to seek vengeance, along the way learning that he is in fact the orphaned son of Zeus.

Got all that?

Well, first then it's important to mention that the aforementioned substitution of quality acting & narrative for aesthetic spectacle is in full effect here. If you can in fact call it such, the narrative is so clumsy you'd think Frank Spencer had a screenwriting credit. The first half of the film zips along at an insane speed, which is not a good thing, especially in the hands of such an apparently inept director. Characters appear and disappear so frequently that it's impossible to keep track and even if you could, you wouldn't want to as every character has apparently been lifted from an old dusty book of action cliche's. This is frankly, not a good thing. Take for example, the 'comedy' duo who accompany Perseus on his quest. Sure, the comedy sidekicks are a staple of the genre, but in say Star Wars there was a reason for 3P0 & R2 to actually be there, it's not as if Luke brought them along for their banter, especially as one of them can't even f*****g speak. Point is, there are plenty of characters here who serve no purpose whatsoever except to meet the expectations of the genre. Which they don't. Why even bother?

In fact the only character you could possibly care about is Perseus and that's not only because his character receives the most screen time, in now way is his character remotely interesting. In fact Perseus's foster family are on screen for such a small amount of time (5 minutes) that you won't care in the slightest and certainly won't care about his quest for justice. Of course, even the dullest character on paper can be brought to life by the right actor on screen, having done this twice (With Avatar & T4) I thought Sam Worthington would go 3 for 3 here. Unfortunately he only displays flashes of the charisma he demonstraedin his earlier efforts and spends most of the film stoic faced and delivering his lines with all the enthusiasm of an M.E sufferer giving a eulogy.

Any hope that veterans Liam Neeson and Ralph fiennes would deliver in the acting department were also quickly crushed in short order. If you have read my earlier post regarding Woody Harrelson, you may be familiar with my theory that A-List actors will often jump aboard vehicles like this for a big paycheck and an excuse to dress up and perform in any manner they choose. A chance to slum it for big money. Where as up and coming stars or those whose star has fallen must do as they're told and be happy for the work, or in the latters case, put on a brave face and then shed a tear whilst nobody's looking. In the case of Fiennes, it's a chance to perfect his Voldermort voice and experience the sensation of long locks of hair for the first time. Neeson just phones it in, delivering minimal dialogue and seems to have got the role on account of being really tall and that he can pull off a beard better than anyone.

And then there's Gemma Arteton, how this woman has achieved the success she has is totally beyond me. She is such a black hole of charisma that any semblance of sex appeal she may potentially have vanishes. So yeah, no props for acting in this film.




Just quickly, I should point out that throughout the film, Zeus is wearing a set of armour for no apparent reason other then he's Zeus and he can.....oh and it's REALLY shiny.

Which brings us to the much heralded special effects, admittedly they're pretty impressive, The Kraken inparticuarlar is really good and in 3D I can imagine it looking pretty spectacular, Medusa however is a bit of a let down and would have perhaps benefited from motion capture rather then an entirely computer generated design. Sadly, as impressive as some of the effects are, they are made redundant by the clumsy direction of the action sequences that showcase them. The sequence in which Perseus and company are ambushed by giant scorpions is so badly handled that it becomes hard to tell one character from another and with action sequences occurring so frequently the film never gains any momentum and never rises above being a mundane bore. On a positive note, the CGI enhanced locations and sets do look impressive and there are some lovely aerial shots of the ancient city of Argos. The ancient city of Currys is less impressive.


GET IT!


Still, Ancient Greece has never looked nicer. I presume it's Ancient Greece, I was a little confused at first because I had no idea that Greece was inhabited by everyone but Greeks themselves. Seriously, in the first five minutes we have been introduced to an Irish God, his evil English sibling, a disgruntled fisherman from Yorkshire and his adopted son who speaks with an AUSTRALIAN dialect. Seriously, I have no idea what was going on with the accents in this film, and I certainly had no idea Ancient Greece was such a multi cultural paradise.

And then there's the ridiculous and convoluted plot. Rather then going into meticulous detail, all I'll say is that the gods might have saved themselves a lot of trouble if they'd just handled their business themselves as oppose to getting other people to do their work for them, oh well, I guess standing around on a mountain all day is a lot harder then you think. Oh and one more thing. There are simpler ways to get people to worship you then staging an Apocalypse suggested to you by your banished, overly sinister and more than likely vengeful sibling.

All in all then this was a colossal failure. Adults will be so insulted by the ridiculous nature of the plot and onslaught of tedious action sequences and although this may not bother younger children the violence and gore certainly will.

Conclusion.

A badly directed, poorly acted debacle with too few visual treats to sustain its running time.

Pretentious star rating

*1/2 (All for Neeson's beard) out of *****

Casting Woody Harrelson

The following is a transcript of the meeting between 2012 director Roland Emmerich and actor Woody Harrelson.

*Emmmerich is in his office, Woody Harrelson is sat opposite him*

Emerich: Hey Woody did you read my script for 2012?

Harrelson: I did.

Emerich: Well what do ya think?

Harrelson: Well....it's pretty much every disaster film ever made, only you know cheesier.

Emmerich: So you wouldn't want to be in it?

Harrelson: Sorry.

Emmerich: Not even for the right sum.

Harrelson: I don't need money.

Emmerich: What if I gave you the lead role. You're this struggling writer....

Harrelson: Yes I read the script, look I've gotta go.

Emmerich: Sure he's unreliable, but his hearts in the right place. His wife may be about to divorce him and his kid think his camping trips are lame, but when he saves them from the apocalypse they'll start to realise he's not so bad after all.

Harrelson: I'll see you later.

*Woody goes to leave*


Emmerich: WAIT! What if I write this character, he's strange, a real whack job.

*Woody stops and turns*

Harrelson: I'm listening.

Emmerich: He's real eccentric, a paranoid pot head, every stereotype Woodstock throwback you've ever seen

*Woody becomes wide eyed*

Harrelson: Now you're talking!

Emmerich: So you'll do it?

Harrelson: There are some conditions?

Emerich: Oh?

Harrelson: Can I play him so eccentric and offbeat,that he borderlines on creepy, you know, just like all my characters?

Emmerich: I guess.....Anything else?

Harrelson:Can I bring my own wig?

Emmerich: Sure?

Harrelson: Pay dirt!

*Harrelson leaves, giddy and grinning from ear to ear thinking of the possibilities*

*Emmerich's secretary enters the room*

Secretary: So did he take the job

Emmerich: Well, sort of, we still need a leading man.

Secretary: Well, no offense Roland, no high profile actors are going to take this role.

Emmerich: And whys that?

Secretary: Well because they're inevitably going to take a back seat to your special effects...*The secretary looks at the script...and these characters....they're so cardboard and cliche, no self respecting actor will take this?!

Emmerich: Dammit, you're right. We need someone with at least a little star power, someone who's stars fallen in recent years someone who has no choice but to take these roles.

*Emmerich stops and looks around the room, deep in thought, until he sees a pile of old movie promotional posters in the corner of the room, suddenly his eyes glimmer*






Emmerich: Get me John Cusack!

Wrestling with mania or how I nearly avoided but inevitably ended up with a pretentious title!

I've been looking for something to write about for some time, hence the long hiatus. I wanted to write about something I feel passionate about and that something on this instance is pro wrestling. Quite honestly this subject is a sensitive one for me as it is something I seldom talk about unless I am amongst my closest friends and even then I end up joking about the industry's often ludicrous nature.

Case in point




Believe it or not I actually embrace this side of wrestling, a great deal of its appeal, for me at least, is that it is at times so ridiculous and borderline farcical that you can't help but sit back and laugh at it. But for as much as I enjoy laughing at the ott nature of the business, this is not the sole reason I am so fascinated by it. You see, I love pro wrestling specifically American Pro Wrestling.

Socially this is a potentially fatal statement, perhaps on par with coming out and admitting to being a homosexual sure your friends are still your friends but they would rather avoid the subject and your father will never look at you the same way again. Well, perhaps its not that bad, but it's something that is best left out of everyday conversations.

You see being a wrestling fan has only been acceptable twice in the last 25 years. The first was from the mid eighties to early nineties. A time when Hulk Hogan was not just an a tragic caricature (Imagine that) but the upholder of truth and justice, a time when saying your prayers and taking your vitamins did not have any suspicious connotations. The second time came around in the late nineties when wrestling transitioned from family orientated entertainment into a raunchier, sleazier product, a time that saw the rise of stars such Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock. This is arguably when when wrestling was at its hottest, a time when a child could wear a HHH 'The game' t-shirt and not fear a vicious Grange Hill style bullying.

Sadly,in mid 2001 the wrestling bubble burst yet again for reasons that I am frankly not qualified and too lazy to go into. Conveniently, it was around this time when I started watching. That Summer my younger brother had borrowed a copy of Summerslam 2001 and by chance I had nothing to do so I watched it with him. I watched a match between the recently turned heel (Wrestling carny for bad guy) face off against Kurt Angle for the heavyweight title. For nearly 30 minutes Austin relentlessly beat on Angle, bloodying him and hitting him with every move in his arsenal only for Angle to keep fighting back valiantly. The match ended when a desperate Austin attacked the referee to keep his title (A champion cannot lose unless he is pinned or made to submit)as Angle finally stood up having been robbed of the title that was surely his, lead announcer Jim Ross protested angrily and assured the audience this feud was not over. This was the point I became hooked.

Even back then I knew wrestling was fake, that the punches weren't connecting and that Kurt Angle had not really had his head slammed into a steel ring post ten times only to get back up (albeit bleeding profusely). Still, I was drawn in, by the physicality being displayed, the reaction of the crowd and the story being told in the ring and when it was all said and done, I wanted to see more. It's now 2010 and I'm as big a fan as I've ever been.

It's hard to sum up why I enjoy wrestling to the extent i do and perhaps my views are jaded somewhat by my fascination with the inside nature of the business. Over the years I read various wrestling insider websites and documentaries have developed a mild understanding as to how the business works, such as how matches are put together, insider terms and the business decisions and thought processes behind them. I use the term mild, because even after my 9 years as a fan and spending as much time as I do, reading up on the insides of the wrestling. It is an industry so complicated and with a history that so vast and racked with politics, scandals and just general wackiness that I don't think I could ever hope cover it all unless I became a wrestling historian. As it stands I am happy with it being an everyday past time. My love clearly does have its boundaries.

A lot of non fans will often talk about Darren Aronofsky's film The Wrestler, how it made them respect wrestlers and what they do for a living, and although The Wrestler did well to make light of the hardships that a wrestler can face in his career, it really doesn't even begin to cover just how much dedication and skill it takes to become a successful pro wrestler. Being a wrestler is a lot more then just being a big man who can throw another guy around, it takes timing and psychology to become a good wrestler. Developing Psychology is perhaps the most interesting part of becoming a wrestler and often sets apart a good and a bad match. Among other things, it also takes a special type of charisma and showmanship to connect with a live audience and those watching at home. Some of the most charismatic personalities and watchable characters I have been created in wrestling, this may seem like a bold statement but it is true. One need only look at The Rock whose natural charisma was such that he outgrew the business and went on to a successful movie career appearing in hit films such as The Scorpion King and...um The Tooth Fairy.



Something The Wrestler also didn't go into is just how fun the sport can be (I'm calling it a sport for now, I'll come to that shortly), at the very least wrestling to me can be escapist fun, like a soap opera but more fun and twice as ridiculous. Take this for example



WWE inparticualr is perhaps so charming because it's one of the last elements of society to not be hit by the hammer of political correctness, of course this isn't always something to be proud of, but at the very least you can just sit back and laugh at how unashamed they are of it.



Representing all of Africa comes Zulu tribesman turned pro wrestling superstar Saba Simba

At it's best however, when the stories are serious and coherent and the matches that follow are executed properly it can be as rewarding as any movie and like any good film a wrestling match can get an emotional reaction out of you whether it's anger, laughter and sometimes it is oddly moving. The matches themselves are also exhibitions of some of the finest athletic ability you will see anywhere.



Shawn Michaels moonsaults onto a prone Ric Flair at Wrestlemania 24

One of the things Aranofskys film did do, albeit to an uncomfortable degree, was highlight the physical nature of professional wrestling. Now, some people will scoff at the idea of wrestling as a sport and yes it's true wrestling is fake, WWE even acknowledge it somewhat by referring to themselves as sports entertainment. Every move is designed to look painful when in fact they are executed as safely as possible and the matches are pre determined. However, to call wrestling fake is grossly unfair, scripted is perhaps a fairer term. In fact for a so called fake sport there is a tremendous amount of physicality involved and something as basic as falling back first onto the mat takes a physical toll. It is also worth mentioning that a wrestlers safety is also affected by the other man in the ring with him, should one of the participants in a match slip or make a mistake the consequences could be dire.

This is not to say that I regard wrestling as being above other forms of athletic competition, I understand that wrestling is indeed fake whereas boxing and the increasingly popular sport of mixed martial arts are real physical contact bloodsports and that along with sports such as rugby, football and tennis these are real competitions decided by who are the better compettiors and not pre determined, It has however, always upset me how the men involved in these sports earn our respect and admiration and yet no matter how many years of dedication and sacrifice it takes to perfect the craft of professional wrestling, they are still treated as the red headed stepsons of the sporting world.

One of the things that I appreciate when it comes to wrestling, or more specifically WWE, has little to with wrestling at all but. The production values in WWE are second to none, whether it's the video packages produced to promote an upcoming event or a wrestlers highlight reel, these are some of the most effective and technically sound state of the art videos you will see anywhere. Then of course there are the sets (The ring area and wrestler entrance way) which are always fantastic especially at the Wrestlemania events which is WWE's biggest show of the year. As far as spectacle I'd say you'd be hard pushed to find anyone who does it better than WWE.



An aerial view of the Phoenix stadium at the conclusion of Wrestlemania 26



Randy Orton makes his way to the ring at Wrestlemania 26

This is not to say wrestling is perfect, there have been moments that have been so truly tasteless and intelligence insulting that I have been embarrassed to be fan. But the way I see it, every TV show, sport or form of entertainment has these moments, anyone who watched England play in The World Cup this year or watches Eastenders on a regular basis would know this feeling quite well.

This entry is not intended to convert any new believers, merely to sum up my thoughts on an industry that not everyone will understand or be willing to appreciate. I suppose it's an acquired taste. I don't know if I'll ever lose the wrestling bug, it's something I've thought about, even wished for at times. The truth is, over the years my love for it has grown even more and I've developed a respect for it.But, Who knows, in five years I may be writing about MMA and how it's so much better then that 'stupid wrestling thing I used to like'. But for now I'm a fan and unashamed to be so.



For the most part.

The ever so exciting week in review.

This week has been a lazy one.

I really haven't done an awful lot, simply lying around with my significant other (at the time of writing) watching various films I wouldn't usually be caught dead watching. Mean Girls, Marley & Me & The Notebook were all watched this week and all of them were my choice. You see under normal circumstances I would denounce all these films without second thought, however when one is trying to encourage a little romance Blade Runner & Chinatown probably aren't the best choices. But hey if incestual rape, corporate greed & facial mutilation don't put you in a romantic frame of mind, I don't know what will.

Alarmingly I enjoyed these films, Mean Girls was good fun if totally predictable and Marley & Me was.....tolerable. If you love animals like I do you cut films with loveable animals as one of the leads a little slack. Sure it was really long and cheesy to the point the TV was starting to smell but, but hey that dog sure was disobedient. Oh and Alan Arkin was doing his familiar grumpy deadpan shtick as Owen Wilson's boss and that's always good value.

The Notebook on the other hand was all slush and no puppy (HA, that's so bad I can't possibly delete it). Even I have my limits and after half an hour the film was removed from the DVD drive and hopefully put away never to be seen again.


Finally. I got a chance to watch BBC's Gavin & Stacy which was fantastic. Great writing, loveable characters and just the right mixture of comedy & drama. I can only hope the next 2 series are as good as this one and maybe I'll start to appretiate James Corden


Maybe Not

The great discovery.

After years and years of looking for a film that truly deserves the title of best bad film ever made, I think, I have finally found it.



You see there is nothing I enjoy more then a bad movie, a few drinks, a couple of mates and some genuninly bad cinema are often the ingredients for a good night in. However it cannot be just any bad movie, you see for me to find a bad movie entertaining, those involved have to be taking the proceedings seriously. Films that aknowledge their own shortcomings and are played for laughs more often then not come across as annoying, take for example Snakes on a Plane or Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus.

This is why 'The Room' is such a triumph. I cannot discuss it any great length now but all I'll say is that it's truly the greatest bad movie I've ever seen.It's even better then Hercules In New York and that film had Arnie fighting a guy in a bear suit.

Wasted oppotunity.

I'm currently typing up a website for my 'Third World & Transnational Cinema' unit. One of the films I was referencing is the 2005 film crash, when typing up a brief description of the characters within the film I ended up with this.


Although this was a US production, the film text itself has elements to it that would suggest it is a transnational picture. Among the characters are an Iranian family, two African American youths from the Ghetto, An African American director & his mulatto girlfriend, a latin American locksmith, a chinese couple and a bunch of pissed off white people.


I really was fond of that last line, its a shame that its not considered academic enough because I think it's a suitable description. Oh well.

The tragic fate of The Phantom Menace

For a lot of us Star Wars was a big part of our childhood, I can safetly say it was a big part of mine. My first experience with Star Wars came when I was about 8 years old when I stumbled across a scene from what I would later discover to be Empire Stirkes Back, for whatever reason it was in spanish. My mother quickly found an old, English VHS tape for me to sit down and watch and thus, it began. I remember being mesmerized the first time I saw the AT-AT's on the ice plant of Hoth and being absolutely terrified watching Vader pursue Luke accross Cloud City. Admittedly, the famous 'I am your father' line had little effect on me because I had not yet watched A New Hope, it didn't matter though, I was gripped.

For years I thought Han Solo was the coolest character I'd ever seen (especially when he shot Greedo in the cantine), collected as much merchandise as possible and watched each film at least 20 times. So when the news that Lucas would begin filming his prequels I, like everyone else, waited eagerly for what would surely be the cinematic event of our lifetime.

Assuming that people actually read this I think everyone knows what happened.




Isn't he cute

The point of this post is not to lambast the film and really what more can be said . Yes Jar Jar is a prick, with all the charm of a rabid poodle.Yes Jake Lloyd, who was no doubt on the receiving end of many toilet bowl dunkings and lunch money beatings throughout his secondary school tenure, can get real irritating as Anakin. And Yes the dialogue is pretty bad. But is it really that bad of a film?

Up until today I would have happily said yes but this afternoon I watched it for the first time in years.


The plot is certainly the least convulted and easy to follow of the prequels, although Lucas would later try his hand at littering his films with dull & nonsensical political subtext, here the focus is mainly on the films characters and their own individual dillemas. Of course Lucas wrote the film and therefore some of the dialogue is flat out stupid(The less said about midi chlorians the better)but like its predeccessors the actors manage to rise above it.

You see the films cast quickly got tired of being mugged by thousands of light sabre wielding Kevin Smith's on a daily basis (Attack of the Clones!) and come episode 2 had lost almost all there passion, even before Episode 3 had hit the theatres Mcgregor and Portman were flat out denouncing the series. Watching episodes 2 & 3 it is easy to forget the level of talent of the films cast, both Portman & McGregor are great actors and in The Phantom Menace it is clear they actually give a damn about the project. The film's unsung hero though, is this man.



The man responsible for making ageing hippies feel better about themselves

Of all the characters introduced to the series through the prequels (And there are a LOT) Qui Gon stands high above the rest. You see, in the earlier films a great deal of time is spent discussing the Jedi's of old and out of all the jedi introduced in this film he's the only one who meets the criteria. You see unlike the other Jedi who sit around all day in their tower discussing midi chlorians, Qui Gon actually does stuff AND he's got a bit of a rebellious streak which makes him even more endearing. He's also a homewrecker, encouraging Anakin to risk his life for a bunch of strangers and then tearing him away from his mother. He also did himself no favours by saving Jar Jar Binks. Seriously though, Neeson is a fountain of charisma here and Lucas wisely centres the films action around him. I'd also like to breifly mention Pernilla August who actually delivers quite the heart breaking little performance as Anakins mother, Schmi.

And that's what supprised me so much about this film when I watched it. I cared. I actually cared about the characters (With a few obvious exceptions). There are some genuinley emotional moments here, most noteably the scene where Anakin and his mother part ways on Tatooine.It is the scenes with Anakin, Qui Gon & Schmi that give the film a real emotional weight, a trait absent from the later films.

One of the things I hated so much about said films is that they were clearly filmed in front of a green screen in a studio. Sure, the effects were fantastic at the time but really when you think about it these films were nothing but a bunch of demotivated actors stood around talking in front of a big screensaver. Here Lucas actually balances the use of models, CGI and real locations perfectly, as a result it's easier to immerse yourself in the world put forth on the screen.

I've been one of Lucas's biggest detractors over the years, however, to ignore his contributions to film making would be grossly unfair. If you ever get a chance to watch the making of documentary on the bonus disc you will find it not only exposes Lucas's ineptitude at directing actors ('Faster, more intense')but also as a technical visionary always looking for new ways to push the technological envelope. It should be noted that the technology used to bring Jar Jar to the screen is very similar (And possibly an earlier version) of the motion capture equipment used to bring Gollum to the screen. Ironically this films visual effects hold up the best of all the prequels, in fact it hasn't aged badly at all, from an aesthetic standpoint it's pretty damn flawless. The sound effects inparticualr are fantastic, especially during the pod racer sequence.

Whilst on the subject, I should mention that the set pieces in this film are absolutely fantastic, both the pod race and the Jedi duel are spectacular edge of your seat entertainment. The film as a whole is paced rather well, especially for a George Lucas film, but the third act inparticular is half hour of non stop excitment, even if you cannot abide Jar Jar Binks. Also, John Williams returned to compose a brand new score and it's certainly up there with his best work, the stand out obviously being the unforgettable Duel of the Fates composition.

What is sad is that a lot of people will tell you that this is where the magic died for them. Whilst it is true that the film never reaches the highs of the original trilogy, realistically it never could. There comes a point where expectations are so high for a film that there is no way it could ever possibly live up to it. It's for this reason that I found myself sympathising with young Jake Lloyd, someone so young being given a role like this was a huge undertaking and in his defence he's no worse then many other child actors I've seen, even if he is REALLY irritating.

Of course the film is far from perfect and there's plenty of things to moan about, i'll just list a few.

Jar Jar

'It's a standoff, lets go!'

'i'll try spinning that's a good trick!'

The droid controlships power core being located inside the hanger bay?!

Racial stereotyping - See Gunray, Nute

Unfiltered Lucas Dialogue

A really naff Yoda puppet



This Fucker!^

Although it is not a perfect film by any stretch it's certainly underserving of it's title as 'one of the worst films ever made', it's a film that was condemmed by it's own hype. Now, episode 2 on the other hand......

Oh, the pretentious star rating

***3/4/***** Yeah why not! (I had rated it at 4 stars, but Anakin's 'THIS IS TENSE' line admist the space battle annoyed me to no end)