Playing Oblivion

Oblivion: The Elder Scrolls

Because I know little to nothing about game mechanics and I haven't yet completed the game, this will be more of a summary then a review but hey, it'll be tremendous fun won't it. You bet!

Well, probably not.

The game is set in the fictional world of Cyrodiil, consisting of about a dozen small towns separated by a vast countryside. As well as the towns many shops and houses which you can access at will. The countryside hubworld also has plenty of caves and old buildings to explore in which the players curiosity will often be rewarded with bonus items and hidden treasures. It would take at least 6 hours of playtime just to identify all the landmarks on the map and who knows how many more to explore them in full. It all looks lovely too,for a game released 4 years ago the games graphics haven't aged badly at all.

Aside from the first hour of playtime in which it is compulsory to play through the opening to the games main quest line, the player is free to do whatever they want from then on. Whether they want to join the various guilds, run menial errands for the townsfolk or simply explore Cyrodiil, is left entirely up to the players discretion. I've personally put in about 15 hours of playtime and I've barely touched the main quest line.

The game also boasts a levelling up system. How the players character levels up depends on which of the ten species he chose to play as at the start of the game. For example. If the player chooses the Imperial, his character will level up based on your use of combat and speechcraft whereas if they pick a Wood Elf, the levelling up would depend on your use of your bow and magic. The player can also customize their character, from their gender to the size of their head there is a wealth of customization options on offer. Unfortunately this means the player will be forced to fight the temptation of making their character look like a character from Tod Browning's Freaks rather then the saviour of a civilization.

Case in point.

And that's pretty tame

The combat is also incredibly varied and although the player can get by with just a sword and a shield this would limit the combat to a monotonous hack and slash format. The player is given the chance to mix things up by utilizing magic spells and potions to temporarily enhance there weapons and character statistics depending on the situation. For instance, if you are fighting one of Cyrodills inexplicably homicidal mud crabs you may choose to temporarily up your resistance to disease or give your weapon an electrical kick ( According to RPG law you are always vulnerable to electricity if you live in the water. Even if you are not in water at the time).

The game is also host to hundreds of characters, however, this is not necessarily a good thing. Even though the developers filled the game with so many different characters, they apparently thought casting just 7 actors would be more then enough. Although the actors try there best to add individuality to their performances with inconsistent accents and varying tempo & pitch, all the characters pretty much sound identical. Even with the presence of Sean Bean & Captain Jean Luc Picard himself, Patrick Stewart the game is devoid of any memorable characters. Well. I quite enjoy spending time with Ongar the Weary who greets me with 'I'm tired, I sure could go for a nap' every time I see him, probably on account of him never actually going to bed.

Even though some of the side quests require the player to shift between hero and villain, there is no moral consequence and I was left (And still am) emotionally detached from the game, the aforementioned character problems only make matters worse, as does the horrifically stilted and nonsensical dialogue. The main questline is also the least interesting part of the game and to be honest I couldn't care less whether Brother Martin reclaims the throne or not.

Now, I've already mentioned that I'm no expert on game mechanics but I will say that the team combat scenarios are incredibly flawed. You'll watch in awe as your team mates run haphazardly into the line of fire and swing wildly at the air and you'd better make sure your TV is insured when they casually walk in front of your sword mid swing, because you'll throw the controller at the screen out of sheer frustration. What's worse is that if your team mates happen to BE The Imperial Guard and this happens, you'll find yourself going to jail.

Much like the police in the GTA series, The Imperial Guard act as your foil in the event that you go crazy and start killing the townsfolk or get caught stealing.If you do they'll offer you the chance to go to jail, pay a fine or resist arrest. Both paying the fine and going to jail come at a cost for the player, whereas resisting arrest for the most trivial of crimes will see approximately four hundred of Cyrodiil's finest attempting to hack you to pieces all the while psychotically screaming 'WHY. WON'T. YOU. DIE!'. Personally, I feel being run out of town for accidentally picking up a pair of garden shears a bit excessive, but that's the law.

The sheer size of the game means the game is victim to frequent loading screens, most noteably when you are roaming the country side or entering a city for the first time. I also found the back and forth nature of some of the quests to be tiresome.

With this being said, Oblivion is by no means a bad game. It's just a very flawed one. It's always fun and the sheer amount of independence and customization on offer here is amazing. It may not have the emotional impact of Bioshock or the Legend of Zelda series, but it's still involving and there are some genuine touches of brilliance(A surreal mission where you journey into someones dream is a personal favorite) to make you forgive its occasional shortcomings and it'll keep you busy for a long time.

The blockbuster of the summer?

I don't read comic books and have no desire to do so as I already have my fair share of interests that are deemed 'uncool', If you smell what i'm cooking. Quite honestly I think watching these movies having not read the comics themselves is a good thing. I'd rather be impartial and enjoy the film as a separate entity then be part of the crowd that inhabits the IMDB message boards complaining about what was left out and posting insightful comments such as "They completely *bleep* up Venom in Spiderman 3" & "THIS FILM SUX COLUSSUS WUZ ONLY IN IT FOR LIKE 10 SECONDS!1!1".

Anyways. I've seen the new Iron Man 2 trailer and I've got to say it's pretty awesome. The film looks to be as action packed as the first and the special effects look pretty spectacular. Robert Downey Jr and Gwyneth Paltrow are both returning for this second installment and Downey Jr in particular looks to be on fine form. We also get a glimpse of the new super villains played by Sam Rockwell & Mickey Rourke, as well as our first look at War Machine who acts as Iron Man's sidekick. Think Robin, but without the homosexual overtones.

I do have a few gripes though. Firstly. The relationship between Pepper & Stark developed in the first film looks to be taking a backseat here, which is a real shame because it was that story arc that gave the first film its emotional weight. Secondly. I don't like Don Cheadle and in my eyes he is a poor substitute for Terence Howard. Thirdly. Does Sam Jackson have to appear in every single comic book adaption there is and how are you supposed to take him seriously in that eye patch?

http://www.empireonline.com/news/story.asp?nid=27219

Resident Evil Extinction review

What a babe!












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It sucks, don't watch it.

Terminator Salvation

Considering the overwhelming praise for my last effort I thought i'd have another go.

So after the events of the third film mankind is on the brink of extinction. Our only hope. John Conner (Christian Bale).After stumbling across a new weapon that could turn the tide of the war, the 'resistance' is preparing one big push (If you will :D). However, when he meets ex convict 'Marcus' (Played by Sam Worthington) everything is called into question.

The first three Terminator films pretty much stuck to the same exact formula and were mainly successful for there special effects (The third one, not so much) and leading man, so it's somewhat admirable that the writers & director McG(Yeah)at least tried to take the series in a different direction. The outcomes however is a lot less admirable.

To say that the film is a total mess would be like saying the citizens of Nagasaki came out a little sunburned on that fateful day in 1945 (It's late, that's the best I can do). After an incomprehensible first 15 minutes that saw Christian Bale grunt, shout (Or just grunt loudly), crash a helicopter and finally dive out of a plane so he could smuggle himself on board a submarine that served as headquarters to the human resistance (Yes this really happens), confusion and boredom were already setting in and it only got worse from there. Now admittedly the plot isn't really hard to follow, but McG's inept directing makes it just that.

But perhaps the most obvious problem here is the script. The biggest problem is that it does not develop or give us reason to care about any of the supporting characters (and frankly, none of the main ones either). But what's even worse is that key characters appear and then disappear from the film for extended periods of time. The biggest victim of this is Bryce Howard's Kate Conner who serves as John's significant other. Well, at least that's what Wikipedia tells me. Quite frankly, apart from the occasional embrace and what I'd learned from the third film, there was little to no explanation as to who she was or why she was there. Her only purpose seemed to be comforting John as he sat moping in dark rooms listening to tapes left to him by his mother Sarah (Voiced by an apparently sedated Linda Hamilton).

Then there's Christian Bale. It seems that after the on-set incident during production everyone is out to get him. As great an actor as Christian Bale is, his performance here is just awful. I'm not sure why Bale decided that John Conner should be stricken with a permanent case of tonsillitis, I'm sure he thought it would add to the characters intensity. In fact John Conner is so intense, he can only express himself by grimacing, grunting and screaming.


Christian Bale is intense

It's sad really because i'm sure he was just trying to make the most of the limited script, but by the end the character has just become farcical.


Also, I'm sure the screenwriters had a good chuckle when they were throwing in all those references to the earlier installments. I'm sure the film drew some polite laughs in the cinema when conner said 'i'll be back'. But really, does every update of a franchise have to rely on these cheap references to its predecessors. It goes to show that the new ideas in these films are so bland and forgetable, the screenwrites have to throw in these little nudges to the audience just to remind them why they are even watching the film in the first place, if in doubt just watch Episode I-III of Star Wars.


And one more thing, why is it all post apocalyptic tribes have to make the crazy senior citizen who talks in riddles their leader?

If there's one saving grace it's Sam Worthington who actually came close to giving the film some heart, it's too bad his character got bumped off instead of Marlboro man. Oh well.

So like I said, it's a mess. Personally I blame director McG, the man responsible for these films.


Yep, the man who brought us not one, but two Charlies Angels films was put in charge of rebooting the Terminator franchise. Perhaps a more competent director could have done a better job of balancing the scenes of drama with the relentless action sequences and actually make something decent out of it. I'm also sure any other director whould've known trying to pass off a bollock naked CGI Arnold Swarzenneger as a serious threat was probably not a good idea.

Quite frankly, do yourself a favour stick to the first two films and pretend the series ended there.

*1/2/*****

Look forward to seeing photoshops of me being bent over by cybernetic organisms in the near future.

:D

http://drestoftheworld.livejournal.com/1614.html

It's almost flattering really, i'll have some new reviews up soon so the man can continue his good work.

Backlash

Well, it seems my half drunk review of Alice & Wonderland was not well recieved by the one person who read it, he even went as far as to photoshop me a few times. great stuff! Reading it back through, there were a couple of pretentious bits, but that's the wacky world of film criticism for you.

Alice in Wonderland review.

I'm still trying to get into the habit of doing this but being the busy man I am I haven't had the time/couldn't be bothered.

Anyways, I went to see Tim burtons Alice in Wonderland tonight. I've been apprehensive about this for some time considering the over emphasis on it being in 3D and more alarmingly it being marketed almost soley on the fact Johnny Depp was in it.Before I go on I'd like to point out that I've never read Lewis Carol's work and have no love for the original Disney film so I was able to view the film completely unbiased.

Firstly, I did not see the film in 3D on account of me being a complete cheap skate and the fact that on this particular occasion no amount of visual stimulation would compensate for just how goofy I would look in a pair of Austin Powers specs. On the subject of the visuals, I think people, like myself, will be immediatly turned off by the CGI animation of the characters, however the style of animation grew on me as the film progressed. Secondly, the performances here are great and I was pleasantly supprised by newcomer (I haven't seen her in anything) Mia Wasikowska who made for an excellent lead and the supporting cast all turned in strong albeit eccentric performances.

Then of course there's Johnny Depp whose mainstream success as of late has brought him considerable backlash from the critics and fanboys who consider him a 'sell out'. Well I am both a Johnny Depp fan and a(Aspiring) critic and I thought his portrayal of the Hatter here was a triumph. Once again i'd like to reitterate that I have not read the Lewis Caroll's work and am reviewing the film as an original text not an adaptation. Sure, Depp is once again playing the oddball, the misfit, the freak if you will, but this is not a one dimensional comedy act (Jack Sparrow anyone). Depp's Hatter is not so much mad as he is completely insane, fluctuating between eccentric buffoon to psychotic sociopath with little to no provocation and its completely enthralling, if a little unsettling at times.

If there is a fault with this film it is its misguided thrid act, in which the film becomes just another action/fantasy flick and not a particuarly good one. By this point I cared about the characters on screen so it didn't fall into Eragon territory but it certainly wasn't Lord of the Rings either. It's hardly new ground for Burton either, all the usual devices and conventions of his previous work are here, the german expressionism visuals are once again present and the themes of uneasy adolesance are all things we've seen before and done better in his earlier films, I.e Edward Scissorhands. Also,I can confidently say that fans of the original litrature will be horrified by what I'm sure are tweaks put there to appease Burton & Hollywood the most obvious victim, being the dialogue, the sort of things that turned me against his earlier screen adaptaion of Charlie & The chocolate Factory.

However, the film was a tremendously fun experience for me and a far richer experience then James Cameron's overblown Avatar.

and the pretentious star rating is

****/*****